Edith goes to her next appointment.
Hurry, hurry, hurry, she’s late!
She hurries up the stairs four at a time and arrives at the door of her next appointment.
– Hello Mrs. Dupre, how are you today? she said in a loud voice to make herself heard.
The old lady smiled and let her in.
Edith knew the routine, she only had 44 minutes to do what she had to do.
She tried to make small talk with Mrs. Dupré but her to-do list was long.
She is especially careful about preparing her medication.
Mrs. Dupre stares at her from her chair, both expectant and resigned.
Edith looks at her watch
If she could finish a few minutes early, she would have time to get to the bakery she liked before the traffic got bad and all the salads were gone.
Otherwise she would have to run to the supermarket which is usually crowded, leaving her only 10 minutes for lunch.
Already five appointments since 7am this morning, her stomach is starting to rumble seriously!
Edith gets busy hop hop hop!
– Bye, Mrs. Dupré, see you tomorrow!
And she storms off down the stairs, slamming the door behind her.
Mrs. Dupré sighs.
– I sold the last chef’s salad just now, I’m sorry, can I get you something else?
Edith is disappointed. A glance at her watch to keep track of her day and she’s off like a lightning.
– Hello Mr. Cheval, how are you?
– Hello Mrs. Bernard, how are you today?
– Hello Mrs. Gourrot, how are you today?
The doors open and close.
The routines follow one another, all the same, all different.
Edith knows them well, she has prepared them well and optimized them.
She looks at her watch: 4:30 pm.
– See you tomorrow! she says, closing the door behind her.
She sits down at the wheel of her car, puts her things on the passenger seat, takes the wheel, inserts the key…
Time seems to stand still.
Her hand, holding the key, does not respond anymore.
Her breathing has calmed down, feels deeper.
Her thoughts continue to turn, busy preparing for the next day’s tour, the little things to change in the routines.
Edith observes them, like butterflies in the sky, she sees herself doing her rounds, one after the other, day after day, endlessly like a film that runs on a loop.
– What’s the point of all this? she asks herself, looking inwardly at the film.
– Yes, I ask you, what’s the point of all this? answers her reflection in the rear-view mirror. Who do you think you are every day?
Edith stops watching the film.
– What? she answers mechanically, then continues, “I accompany lonely people in their daily needs.
– It’s a nice ad, but you don’t answer the question. Who are you?
Edith recognizes her own repartee, which she appreciates less when she is the one receiving it…
– I am a home carer.
– Who are you really? her reflection replies.
The question resounds as if it had taken on an infinite depth.
– Who am I really? Edith raises her head to look at her reflection in the mirror, as if she had just understood the true meaning of the question. I am a soul who wishes to experience, Edith continues, remembering her inspirational readings in the evenings.
– And how is your experiment going?
– I think we both know the answer to that question..
Edith sighs. This is not the life she imagined when she wanted to provide help to isolated elderly people. Had she taken a wrong turn?
– You set out to be present for the elderly, so you chose a context accordingly to live that out, that of being a home carer. And your experience is different from what you imagined. Why is that?
Edith looks at her mirror with a frown.
Her reflection continues:
– Let me tell you a story. A father wants to spend some quality time with his little boy, so he decides to take him to an amusement park. He chooses a context in which he can live out his intention to spend time with his son.
Edith nods her head in agreement.
– Well, continues her reflection, the father and son arrive at the park, take the first ride and then start lining up for the second. The wait is getting long and the dad starts to grumble about the wait because they won’t have time to ride all the rides. His experience becomes unpleasant. Why is this?
Edith was starting to get caught up in the story and wasn’t expecting a surprise test…
– Because he … started to grumble? answers Edith unconvinced.
– Because he changed his intention. His intention is no longer to spend time with his son, but it has become to go on all the rides.
Edith remains pensive. Her reflection continues:
– The dad can very well spend quality time with his son in a queue, talking, playing little games, telling jokes, … And his experience would be pleasant because it would correspond to his original intention. The amusement park is only one context among others to experience the intention he has set: a walk in the forest, playing soccer in the park, ..
The reflection ends:
– The dad can completely transform his experience instantaneously by re-choosing his original intention. The power of creation is there.
Edith reflects on her own situation.
– So if I understand correctly, my intention has changed?
– Your original intention is to bring presence to isolated characters. Is trying to check off a list of things to do, the same intention?
– Probably not, I barely talk to them and at the end of the day after finishing all my routines, I feel like I have done nothing, I feel empty and useless.
– Yes, your heart is not nourished by satisfying your mind.
– Should I change my job?
– Your job is a context. You can keep it or change it if it does not allow you to experience your intention. What counts is to be clear about your intention and to keep it or to choose another one… consciously!
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Edith comes out of her dream, one hand still on the steering wheel and the other on the key ready to start the car.
She turns her head towards the window.
A man wants to talk to her. She lowers the window.
– Have you chosen? he asks her.
– I beg your pardon? Edith answers, surprised.
– I was waiting for your parking space, I came to see what your intention was, if you had decided to stay or to leave?
Edith turns her head and sees herself smiling in the rearview mirror.
Pathfinder – Writer
Bringing light on my path to help you find light on yours.
Wondering who I am?